My First Time - Kane's Story Part 1 (Aged 19)

I have lived with my Nan since I was little. My Mum was in gaol and the bloke who donated sperm to create me had disappeared long ago. Mum had a series of men in her life but the partner she had when she got out of gaol as alright – well I thought he was alright.

It was my uncle’s birthday and everyone was at Nan’s. She was a tough lady but there was never any violence in our home. I was raised to be respectful and to take care of others. She had expectations of me and I lived up to them.

Mum’s partner arrived and was a bit aggravated. He started to drink and started to get worse. He began yelling and then he began breaking things and then he began swearing at Mum and at Nan. I was shocked and scared. I could only stand and watch. He turned around and he pushed my Nan. I could not believe it and could not understand what was happening. I was only 7 or 8 and yet it is as clear in my mind as if it was the other day.

My Uncles made him leave and I remember feeling a bit better. Then I heard yelling again. My mum had gone out the front to try and calm him down. I went to see her just in time to watch him shove her and watch her fall. It was like it was in slow motion.

Nan called the police. I remember them arriving; the sirens, the noise, the yelling, the lights. I started to feel safe again. I was standing behind Nan as they took him away. It was supposed to be over but it wasn’t.

My dog was the centre of my life. I loved her and she had been there for me. As he was taken past her, he lashed out with his boot. He kicked her with enormous force. She whimpered and fell.

I had never seen such violence or heard the yelling and swearing. My Nan did not allow this…but I was a little bit older before I fully understood why.

Kate Bricknell